Curiousity
Author: Ketsune
Rating: G
Genre: General/Humor
Characters: All Host Club Members
Disclaimer: Not mine, unfortunately, but hey, if they were, do you honestly think I'd be sharing them with the world? 8D
Summary: Haruhi knows she shouldn't look.

"Ne, Kaoru," says Hikaru. "Look."

Haruhi, walking around the host club, knows it’s a bad idea to look. In the first place, it wasn’t directed at her; in the second, it’s not going to end up pretty.

…okay, so it will end up pretty. Anything these boys do ends up pretty and she’s resigned herself to that fact. All the same, it doesn’t mean she’s going to like it.

She looks.

What greets her eyes is the most ridiculous thing she’s ever seen, and anything but pretty. Being wheeled in by Mori is a life-size statue of a clown, dressed from head to toe in the most clashing patterns of purple, pink, and orange plaid paired with neon blue and yellow polkadots. The scowl on his face is clearly visible despite the heavy amounts of smiling makeup, and the giant red gloves on his balled fists and oversized lime green shoes don’t help his image much, especially when complimented by a plastic yellow flower on his chest and a giant red ball on his nose.

It takes every bone in Haruhi’s body to maintain a sense of decorum, to keep her from laughing even as all the girls of the Host Club giggle.

"This is one of those commoner entertainment acts, isn’t it, Haruhi-kun?" asks (Haruhi has to check her sheet for the name of the new customer) Sawai from 2-C. Haruhi gives her an engaging smile as she explains, "Yes. They’re known as clowns, commonly found in circuses."

"You mean they’re paid to frolic?" Azama from 2-B has a slight look of horror on her face. Haruhi quickly attempts to pacify the girl. "They get paid to play around, yes, but so the audience can be amused by their antics and forget their own troubles for a while."

Azama nods with a look of understanding, but 2-A’s Komatsu has a question of her own. "Have you ever been to a circus, Haruhi-kun?"

This one’s a bit harder for Haruhi to answer. "Yes," she starts, "Once with my parents in kindergarten, before my mother fell sick. I don’t remember much, but I do know there was a lot of laughter and joy that day." The girls gasp at having discovered more of the mysterious scholarship student’s background, but before they can launch into a full squeal, Kyoya comes to break it up.

"I apologize, girls, but this is the end of today’s shift." The beginnings of squeals turn into obvious disappointment.

"Could we designate Haruhi-kun again tomorrow?"

Kyoya doesn’t even need to check his book to respond. "He’s booked the rest of this week, but I can pencil you three in for him next Monday, if you’d like."

"Please," respond the girls, suppressing any comments about the wait as they head for the doors. Like every other customer, though, they fail to hold back their giggling upon passing the clown statue.

As the last customer closes the door behind them, Kyoya turns to Haruhi with a sly smile on his face. "Well, then, Haruhi," he leads her to the clown statue, "How did you like our commoner circus theme preview?"

"It’s very nice and all, but," Haruhi pokes the clown’s cheek, eliciting a wince from the clown, "Did Tamaki-senpai really agree to dressing up like this?"

The formerly immobile clown leaps at Haruhi and gathers her up into a hug. "Haruhi! Only you know how Papa really feels!" he wails, nuzzling his cheek against hers as Haruhi squirms to get out.

"S-senpai, you’re getting your makeup on me!"

"Haruhiiiiiiiiiii!"

HONK. HONK. Splsssh.

Hikaru, grabbing the big red nose on Tamaki’s face, and Kaoru, squirting the club president with the flower squirter, lead Tamaki away from Haruhi.

"Clowns don’t belong with Haruhi," declares Hikaru, squeezing the nose again for punctuation.

"So they stay on this side of the homo-homo line," finishes Kaoru, squirting more water at Tamaki’s face.

"But there is no homo-homo line!"

"Has that ever stopped you or us before?" the twins chorus as they draw their own homo-homo line between Tamaki and Haruhi. Tamaki immediately gets down and starts trying to erase it.

Kyoya claps for attention. "So, continuing with the circus theme for tomorrow’s session…"

"I want to be a lion tamer!" exclaims Honey. An image of Honey throwing a whole pride of lions over his shoulder appears in Haruhi’s head and she snorts. Kyoya, apparently having the same idea, adjusts his glasses and represses a snort of his own.

"I don’t think school regulations will allow us to have actual lions in the building, Honey-senpai," he remarks even as he notes down the smaller boy’s wishes. Honey pouts…

"…I’ll be the lion," offers Mori. Kyoya smiles, "Now that I don’t see a problem with," and writes it down as well.

Honey cheers up and tackles-hugs Mori, nearly knocking the much taller boy off balance. "Yay, Takashi!"

"Then we want to be elephant riders," chorus the twins. Kyoya raises an eyebrow and opens his mouth to say regulations won’t allow elephants, either. Kaoru stops him by covering his mouth as Hikaru grabs Clown!Tamaki, still trying to erase the homo-homo line, and sticks a plastic grey snout over the red nose.

"Here’s our elephant!" Hikaru squeezes the plastic snout and the proud trumpet of an elephant comes out, shocking Tamaki into speechlessness. Kyoya chuckles.

"Fine by me."

That scares Tamaki back into action. "What? No! Mother! You can’t let them do this to me! First a clown, then an elephant… they’re disgracing me in front of our daughter!" Reminded of Haruhi, Tamaki jumps to her and turns her to face the wall. "Don’t look, Haruhi, this sort of sight will be too unpleasant for your beautiful eyes."

"Senpai…" Haruhi coughs uncomfortably.

Tamaki turns her around wildly to face him, pressing his forehead to hers. "Yes, Haruhi? Is there something wrong? Do you have a cold? A fever? Maybe even pneumonia?"

"That snout on your nose is really uncomfortable against my head."

After a moment of silence, Tamaki runs off into the nearest dark corner to assume his dejected pose.

"He’ll return in a moment and then we’ll finalize whatever he and twins will be doing," declares Kyoya, all business. "Now, that leaves you, Haruhi. What role will you be playing in our circus?"

"I don’t know. Kyoya-senpai, what will you be?"

"The ringmaster, of course."

True to Kyoya’s word, Tamaki rushes back upon hearing this. "Ah, no! Kyoya, I want to be ringmaster!"

Haruhi tries to imagine Tamaki cracking a whip and decides the image suits Kyoya much better.

"Tamaki, you want to be able to show off for the girls, am I correct?" Tamaki nods duitfully to Kyoya’s prompting. "In which case, you’d be better suited for a flashier position. Perhaps the horseback rider?"

"But I want to perform with Haruhi!"

"Senpai, we’re not actually perform-"

"So you’ll both be horseback riders, then."

"Complete with flaming hoops to jump through?"

"Senpai! That’s dange-"

"Complete with flaming hoops to jump through."

Tamaki sweeps Haruhi up into a spinning hug. "Did you hear that, Haruhi? You get to perform with Papa!"

Despite being stuck in the arms of a whirling Tamaki, Haruhi tries her best to glare at Kyoya. "Kyoya-senpai!"

Kyoya flashes Haruhi a dazzling smile, and Haruhi decides that she never wants to claim the same thing as he does. Ever. Just in case.

"That’s not fair, we want to perform with Haruhi too!" protest the twins.

Tamaki stops the spinning and smiles triumphantly, "Homo-homo twin clowns can stay homo-homo twin clowns!"

"You’re the one who’s wearing the clown outfit, Tono!"

"O-only because I lost a bet with-!" Tamaki gets all flustered as he realizes Kyoya’s even gaze and smile rests on him now.

The twins prod for more information. "What? Lost a bet with who?"

"N-nothing!" Tamaki shies away.

"C’mono, Tono, tell us! Or we’ll stick these on you too!"

"No!"

"You know you want to!"

Haruhi, slightly dizzy, wobbles over to Honey and Mori and collapses in a chair next to them as they sit and watch the twins chase Tamaki with imitation elephant ears and tail for the rest of the day. Role assignments are forgotten, and the next day, Host Club occurs as usual without any extra event. Until…

"Ne, Kaoru," says Hikaru. "Look."

Haruhi stifles a groan and knows she shouldn’t look. Yesterday was more than enough proof of that.

But she does it anyways.