Memory & the lack there-of
Author: omoidasenai
Rating: G
Pairing/Characters: Host Club, slight? Kyouya/Haruhi
Notes: Uh... Just a Kyouya-centric reflective piece, really. It was written for ouran_flashfic - [Challenge: [001] Memories]. It was also partially based on the Kyouya/Haruhi sketch by Bisco Hatori in (English) Volume 3. <--(that's why the pairing) The picture was randomly selected =P.
Summary: Memory loss, in Kyouya's opinion, is what makes things interesting.

The behaviour of people is a curious thing. More often than not, one can guess entirely how they will act - and how to gain the advantage over them - by knowing how their memories work.

Kyouya knows this. He also knows that memories are not only the key to unlocking a person's psyche, but that they are most curious phenomenon in themselves. Memories, Kyouya notes, also are directly related to character.

It is like a physics equation - perhaps, a heat engine, almost; one puts in heat and work is done, but there is loss in between.

It is the loss that makes things interesting.

Tamaki, Kyouya knows, remembers nothing that he does not want to. That is to say, if there is an event which has implications against whatever concept Tamaki is enthralled with at the time, Tamaki will not remember it. Tamaki blinds himself to whatever reality it is that he does not want to see. This, Kyouya also knows, does not make Tamaki weak - but it does make him vulnerable, especially to deceptions - mostly self-deceptions - that suit whatever he wishes to believe. How easy it is to direct Tamaki's thoughts, Kyouya notes, as he has done on numerous occasions, and a smirks slides on to his face at the remembrance of a certain 'Tropical Paradise' theme event at the Host Club. Although, Kyouya muses, it was not only he with this power, wincing slightly at the memory of one Renge, and Tamaki's 'Lonely Prince' impression.

Ah well, at least that was only in passing, and to Kyouya's advantage, in any case. There really was quite the tidy profit from that particular event.

The Hitachiin twins are another matter. However, they, too, are not overly difficult to figure out. Kyouya knows that they are two separate individuals - Hikaru is Hikaru, and Kaoru is Kaoru - but, for his purposes now, since the twins hold no secrets between them, or almost none, - none relating to their daily interaction on the whole- anyway; they are of one mind. The Hitachiins are not overly different from your average plotting schoolboy, however; they remember whatever relates to themselves, and anything that could possibly be used against another person, or whatever they think can be. That would have made the twins dangerous, were Kyouya not well and able to beat them at their own game. And the twins have their own vulnerability too; they are brilliant, but, ultimately impulsive - Hikaru much more so than Kaoru - and can be redirected to Kyouya's own ends. A result of being so very focused in their memories; they never see it coming.

A very useful weakness, Kyouya thinks.

Then of course there is Mori and Hunny. Kyouya also groups them together. After all, despite their obvious differences - Hunny is Hunny, and Mori, Mori - really, really, they think in the same way. They are not so different to the twins, in some senses, being so very focused in their memories. Both Mori and Hunny are observant - almost to a fault, Kyouya feels, after all, too observant and they can get in the way - but on closer inspection, they are observant only of what relates to the things they hold most precious; in this case, each other, and the other members of the Club. Especially Fujioka, Kyouya notes. Still, Mori and Hunny can be prompted; though sometimes Kyouya suspects that this is only because they allow themselves to be, for whatever reason. Really, Kyouya thinks, sometimes it is too easy to overlook the seniors; Hunny deliberately disarms others with his behaviour, and Mori effectively fades into the background; the pair are dangerous, but not a threat really; for the most part neither get involved, despite Hunny's appearance of sticking his fingers into all pies, there is no commitment behind that. Perhaps that is because Hunny does stick his fingers into all pies.

In any case, Kyouya thinks, as long as the two seniors maintain their aloofness, it does not matter. They go along with the whirlwind of events ans schemes that is the Host Club, and that suits Kyouya just fine.

Of course, that leaves Fujioka Haruhi; newest member of the Host Club, a 'Natural' type, and fast becoming and favourite among their customers. Of course, the customers have no idea that the cute scholarship boy is actually a girl. - how they miss it sometimes mystifies Kyouya; but then he remembers that these are those sorts of girls, and know that they would rearrange the world to suit their purpose, how else would the twins work, and naturally, Renge is a classic - Haruhi, however is completely unlike them. Her memory is also very good; but Kyouya know how it works. Haruhi remembers just about everything. Except, she does not remember what truly, truly disturbs her. Since very little - almost nothing - truly disturbs Haruhi; that is, she is surprised and frustrated at the sheer insanity present within the Host Club and the school in general, but somehow not truly disturbed - it takes alot to shake her - Haruhi remembers almost everything. Enough to make one less well informed than Kyouya believe that she remembers everything. But then, almost naturally, - he is the 'Shadow King', as titled by the girl herself - Kyouya knows better.

It is Haruhi's one weakness - apart from food, that is - that Kyouya can, and does exploit mercilessly.

Kyouya himself, of course, remembers whatever it is that is to his advantage to remember. Whether the situation itself is what he would wish it to be or not is irrelevant, if there is a threat, or a benefit to him, he will remember. It is to Kyouya's advantage to remember situations where all has not gone as planned. As a warning, if not a learning experience.

Of course, he remembers the good events as well. One in particular, especially, since it is what Haruhi does not want to, and does not, remember. Kyouya vaguely notes that perhaps, considering the nature of the situation, he should feel somewhat insulted that Haruhi considers it so very disturbing that she must exclude it from her otherwise all-inclusive memory, but then, that is Haruhi's personality, and it is to Kyouya's advantage anyway.

Kyouya smirks slightly at the memory. Really, it is typical that one - slight - weakness will breed others. And it was Haruhi's weakness for food that brought about her downfall. How long ago was it now - about one and a half years - that he attended a sort of orientation day that the school was holding? He was still in middle school then, he remembers, although only just, and he was representing something - the details are irrelevant, so he does not recall them - or perhaps he was being a guide; whatever the case was, the tour had returned to one of the halls, where refreshments were being served. Kyouya remembers not taking particular note of the refreshments themselves, - after all, they were just the usual fare - but he remembers the punch. Someone had spiked it that day - this time though, Kyouya really has no idea who, maybe a 'D' class student - and Kyouya remembers because he came across a rather tipsy - drunk - Haruhi. Not that she would normally be in that state, but then someone had spiked the punch, and Haruhi must have been fairly keen to sample the drink, after all, it was not something Kyouya supposed that she would normally have.

In any case, it so happened that Kyouya too had sampled some of this - rather potent - drink; after all it was good form to have a drink in one's hand, and he had been thirsty, so his behaviour was really not what would normally have occurred. Not that Kyouya was particularly gentlemanly normally, anyway. Kyouya finds, a little to his annoyance that he does not remember quite how Haruhi got into his arms, or how his glasses were removed, but he does remember what is important, and that is that it did occur. Kyouya supposed that he should not be surprised, after Haruhi is rather pretty, and even having been met only briefly, rather fascinating.

It is this event, with a little - quite a bit, really; the placing of the vase, the calculation of both the Club's and Haruhi's reactions, the hinting that unused Music Rooms were quiet - prompting that has led to the present situation of one Haruhi Fujioka, debt, cross-dressing and all. Kyouya smiles at the thought. Overall, a plan well executed, with the securing of the fascinating scholarship student for the Host Club's - and therefore Kyouya's- disposal, safely away from the other clubs, - and schools, 'Zuka' Club indeed - removing any possible threat in lieu of an advantage. Or so Kyouya tells himself.

Haruhi does remember some things of this. She knows that he is dangerous, and a threat. She is cautious and wary of him, and no doubt feels as if there is more behind his every action. She is right of course; but until she can really place exactly why - and she will not - Kyouya is safe.

Of course, Kyouya too, has a weakness. But that is well hidden, perhaps so much so that even Kyouya himself does not know it. And he certainly isn't going to tell anyone else.

Fin

Wah, that was not supposed to be so long. I am a little uncertain of my English, too, so if you find any strange grammar, that is probably the reason. Sorry, and please tell me if you find any major errors.